The J3s wanted to get a home final, but they also wanted to send out a statement.  This powerful performance did just that, but they still need your support as they face arch rivals Railway Union in the league decider next Friday. 

Let's get down to help them lift the League. Friday 14th March, 7.30pm at HQ

Ronan Shaw, talisman of the J1s and interim reporter of J3s starts this review with style, “We win our kick off, lovely hands go out wide and Gubes (?) scores. Will McEvoy, sporting his summer haircut a bit early, strikes it beautifully for his first kick of the day.”

The pressure resumes straight from the restart and Shawsie takes up the story again, “Lovely dummie from Will Mc, selflessly giving the 2 on 1 go Tadhg (Brennan) who goes over in the corner. Then Will slots over the conversion from the corner yet again. What an athlete”

After we spent the next ten minutes in their half as well, Barnhall did their best defending of the night, but it wasn’t enough to stop “Brylcream” Bill McEvoy from slipping over for his own try next. However, the emotion was too much for him, as he utterly bungled the conversion.  As one sideline sage said, “Honestly, he had one job … just one job!”

Barnhall came back fighting and got into our half briefly, but we were soon back in theirs when scrumhalf Paul Kinney intercepted a pass in the centre.  A less generous (and fitter) player might have taken it all the way into their danger zone and even over the line to score himself, but PK saw the open pitch yawning in front of him and thought, “It’s just too much trouble” and hoofed it aimlessly ahead.  Happily, others still had a bit of wind in them and Teak-Tough-Tadhg got his second in the corner. Keeping the pattern alive, Will missed his second conversion from there too.

Now Lansdowne seemed in complete control but the best was yet to come as the forwards showed they had some running chops too.  Handing over to another pitchside and utterly impartial observer: “OK so Mikey just side stepped 15 Barhnall lads. Some will say it’s an exaggeration, but it’s true!”  Then the same spectator added, “Jesus, is there no limit to his talents?  Another massive break from Captain Mike (Whelan) and he’s just (probably illegally) taken down on the 10m, but not before he selflessly offloads and winger Clarkie goes over for the try!”  Needless to say, Will missed the conversion again as the whistle blows for half time.

The game restarts and the intermission munchies provided by Adam Curry (in Face’s absence) seem to have done the trick as we’re back with vim and vigour. So are Barnhall, but they also had gusto. They pin us down inside our 22 then 10 meter line and only accuracy and tough defence will see them off. And that’s provided in spades by pocket-rocket number seven Niall O’Shea and ginger Exocet eight, Arthur Henry clattering attackers and forcing a knock on.  We exit, but a rare penalty lets them back into our 22 for a dangerous lineout.  Those on the sideline were reassured by President Conor Shaw’s (Ronan’s proudest uncle) sage prediction, “Watch this, their jumpers will fumble the ball and we’ll break through!”  And that’s exactly how it happened. The voice of experience, presumably.

So with the period in defence over, we resumed playing like the Barbarians. Moving the ball all over Teaky Tadhg looks like getting over but slips inside to ever present winger Joe Hyland who tips it down for a class finish.  Keeping alive the tradition established by Will, now JJ Walsh steps up to miss the conversion.

There was another score from Conor Deane but your reporter was noting the previous one and missed it.  However, he didn’t miss what happened later … yes, you guessed it, JJ missed the conversion again.  Next up to score was Niall O’Shea and another five points seemed in the bag as we awaited the conversion. But what’s this? Winger, Rory Boyler has a go. Stop the lights, he gets it.  Mad Ted.

Then it was Joe Hyland for his double and, good grief, Boyler slots that over too.  Is there another reason for a third, hattrick conversion attempt from Boyler?  Yes, and how better to earn one but from another try and a hattrick from TT Tadhg Brennan.

There was one more try from Will Sadlier and another ridiculous conversion from Boyler, but the try of the night was the one that was disallowed.  Too tired to make it to a ruck, scrum half Paul Kinney was gasping for breath in a slot normally reserved for outhalves.  The ball came out to him and though no doubt fearing for his life, he composed himself enough to ping a punt high and into the corner, for charging winger Boyler to gather and tip down. But it wasn’t to be, as the ref deemed the ball offside. 

Apart from that the evening went well.

Let's get down to help them lift the League. Friday 14th March, 7.30pm at HQ